Time to lighten the load here:

[KearsedGator42]

??? You meant "where's the bar?" "confused gaze"

Termites eat wood most every bar I’ve ever seen is made of wood especially the older ones with the decorative oak front rail.

So the Termite walks into the Bar he looks at it from end to end like most folks do that are gonna sit at the bar and says “Hey where’s the Bar Tender” the most tender part to eat!!!!

I’ve told it a thousand times have never once had to explain it I guess in person people can hear the Bartender and it registers 🤷‍♂️

My very first venture to the parking lot and…………………..

 

[NavigatorII]

Termites eat wood most every bar I’ve ever seen is made of wood especially the older ones with the decorative oak front rail.

So the Termite walks into the Bar he looks at it from end to end like most folks do that are gonna sit at the bar and says “Hey where’s the Bar Tender” the most tender part to eat!!!!

I’ve told it a thousand times have never once had to explain it I guess in person people can hear the Bartender and it registers 🤷‍♂️

My very first venture to the parking lot and…………………..

Why would there be a bartender when there is no bar? You just entered a higher class of clientele than the Swamp. Know your audience.

One * on a 10* scale. 😂

 

[EvilWayz]

A Termite walks into a bar. Looks up and down the bar and says “Hey where’s the Bartender?”

This only works when you tell it because you can pause. Writing it out ruins it.

A for effort though, champ.

 

[KearsedGator42]

This only works when you tell it because you can pause. Writing it out ruins it.

A for effort though, champ.

 

[Capt Ron 1]

My FAVORITE poster ever!! You and Tatton!

 

[instaGATOR]

I never thought that my husband was STUPID, but now I'm left wondering?

I asked him how to spell Orange, and he responded the color or the fruit? 😉

 

[BamaFan1137]

I never thought that my husband was STUPID, but now I'm left wondering?

I asked him how to spell Orange, and he responded the color or the fruit? 😉

If it's the team color, I think it's urnge. 😉

 

[instaGATOR]

If it's the team color, I think it's urnge. 😉

Or maybe the smell, or the feeling.... 🤔

 

[nail1988]

😭😭

 

[nail1988]

poor bastard 😭😭

 

[nail1988]

😭😭😭

 

[nail1988]

😭😭😭😭

 

[gatordad3]

 

[nail1988]

😭😭

 

[instaGATOR]

Seen on a guys T-shirt while I was pumping gas late one night.
It was intentionally printed very blurry writing, and so it was difficult to read.
When it finally locked in for me, I kracked-up!!!

I'M GOING NUCKIN-FUTS..... 😁

My response, just inside to myself was, 'been there, done that.'

 

[instaGATOR]

Progressive's new 'not going to church' jingle....

Red and Yellow Black and White,
Get that White kid outta sight.
Jesus loves the little children of the world.....

 

[nail1988]

 

[instaGATOR]

Jus-damn nail! 😮

That's not in the least bit funny to me. That's bordering on tragic, depending on the level of injury he sustained.... 🤓
And IF he walked away from that uninjured, then he had Angels riding on both shoulder that day....

 

[gatordad3]

Jus-damn nail! 😮

That's not in the least bit funny to me. That's bordering on tragic, depending on the level of injury he sustained.... 🤓
And IF he walked away from that uninjured, then he had Angels riding on both shoulder that day....

It's sad to see you didn't refer to Nail in the head as nailed head. 😢
Or as Mr. Larson.

 

[gatordad3]

I sure as hell wouldn't Eff with @nail1988

 

[nail1988]

Jus-damn nail! 😮

That's not in the least bit funny to me. That's bordering on tragic, depending on the level of injury he sustained.... 🤓
And IF he walked away from that uninjured, then he had Angels riding on both shoulder that day....

Here ya go @instaGATOR AKA instant 😂😭

 

[EvilWayz]

Progressive's new 'not going to church' jingle....

Red and Yellow Black and White,
Get that White kid outta sight.
Jesus loves the little children of the world.....

That's not how we sing it. 😊

Napalm sticks to little children
All the children of the world
Red and Yellow, black and white
screaming torture in the night
napalm sticks to little children of the world.

Second verse, same as the first!

 

[instaGATOR]

I'm sorry guys (not really), but for me, there is a difference between funny and morbid...

Remember, it's LIGHTEN THE LOAD, not double or triple it......

 

[EvilWayz]

I'm sorry guys (not really), but for me, there is a difference between funny and morbid...

Remember, it's LIGHTEN THE LOAD, not double or triple it......

Blame the Marines, they taught it to me.

 

[instaGATOR]

Here ya go @instaGATOR AKA instant 😂😭

View embedded media

Okay 'head-nailed-to-da-flor', that's funny as heck, from this distance, but that kid better go move in with the neighbors for at least a few days, because his life might now be in danger.

But even that would not have worked for me back in the day. My mamma would have hunted me down over that one. 😡 >>> 😩

 

[GatorTheo]

😭😭😭

View embedded media

Must be a gun free zone.

 

[instaGATOR]

Blame the Marines, they taught it to me.

EW, the choice to remember it, and then to repeat it, falls completely on YOU. No cop-outs allowed... 🤓

M-A-R--I-N-E -- C-O-R-P-S,,,, Mickey Mouse 😁

 

[EvilWayz]

EW, the choice to remember it, and then to repeat it, falls completely on YOU. No cop-outs allowed... 🤓

M-A-R--I-N-E -- C-O-R-P-S,,,, Mickey Mouse 😁

I didn't say I didn't think it was funny.

 

[instaGATOR]

And now for another round of Dad Jokes....

"What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?"
"They're both Paris sites."

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -- Pilgrims."

"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along."

"What did the buffalo say when his son left? -- Bison"

"I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day but I couldn’t find any."

"What do you call a cheese that isn’t your cheese? -- Nacho cheese"

"When does a Dad joke become a Dad joke? -- When it becomes apparent"

 

[nail1988]

@Mdfgator is this you? 😭😭

 

[NavigatorII]

 

[instaGATOR]

The truly funny part of that, is that memes didn't exist back then.... 😉

 

[nail1988]

😭😭😭

 

[instaGATOR]

What did the Mountain Climber Dad name his son?
CLIFF, of course.....

Did you hear about the Mountain Climber who just summited Mount Everest?
Safe to say that his mountain climbing career has just PEAKED.....

 

[nail1988]

😭😭😭

 

[nail1988]

 

[nail1988]

😭😭😭

 

[instaGATOR]

What's blue, but not heavy?

Lite Blue???

 

[nail1988]

🤭🤭😂😂😂

Porky wasn’t one bit happy

 

[instaGATOR]

Did anyone else notice the back of the leg on that woman's pants???? 😨
===========

Been there, done that at a N.C. casino. But thankfully, my wife of 49+ years has a much better sense of fun & humor, plus she KNOWS me and she trusts me to carry-on in the moment, but not to carry-over after the innocent fun.... 😉