Let's try this again....An annual tradition. Third times the charm, amiright? 
Twas the Night Before The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party
'Twas the night before The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party,
when all through the South,
Not a Southerner was stirring, not even Finebaum's mouth;
The beers were packed, in the cooler with care,
In hopes that SEC Nation soon would be near;
Gators fans were nestled all snug in their beds;
As visions of Percy Harvin danced in their heads;
While Coach Mullen 'n' The Ol' Ball Coach, lay awake in their visors,
Scheming up trick plays, Kirby Smart none the wiser.
When out on St. John's River, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my hotel bed, to see what twas the matter.
As I looked south down the River, I saw something massive and bright,
Picking up steam as it rode through the night,
A tonnage of steel, with cannons COLOSSAL and COMMANDING,
Plowing all in its path, heading straight for The Landing;
Lights of bright orange, with siding scales of blue,
I felt the earth shake, as it came into view;
When what to my bloodshot eyes did appear,
But a towering warship, no dawg safe to be near;
With a chiseled, mighty Captain, and the UF Cheerleaders in tow,
I knew in a moment, it was the USS TEBOW!
To rally the troops, hence why Tebow came,
He grabbed his megaphone, and called them by name:
"Now Shorter and Henderson! Now, Pierce! Now, Nay'Quan!
On, Gamble! On, Pitts! On, Copeland! On Grimes!
Direct snap to Toney, you bet it's comin!
REVERSE to Whittemore! This offense is hummin'!
You want to see defense? We’re the REAL D-B-U,
Marco will pick you, Elam will too;
Where's Stewart you ask? Aw, he's getting his kicks,
He's behind Bennett, running back a pick six!
Moon’s in the backfield, quick as a fox,
If he doesn't get you, you'll be POUNDED by COX!"
Tim cured them all of COVID, and got them on board,
Coach Mullen jumped on, and the ship's engine roared;
But Tebow looked around, and noticed someone was missing,
He stopped the boat, while everyone listened:
"Wait everyone, we've made this mistake before,
Can't forget our QB, there's NO ONE we NEED more!"
And there on the dock, stood Kyle Trask,
Focused and ready, up to the task;
Tebow threw him a lifesaver, and dragged him on ship,
He sat him down, and gave him this tip:
"Kyle, you got SIXTY MINUTES, for the REST of your LIFE,
To some, this game means more than their children or wife;
To understand the magnitude, you must understand the past,
The years of Gator heartbreak, we feared would always last;
Nightmares of Lindsay Scott, still burn in our heads,
And probably will, til the day we are dead;
But we turned the tables, helped by legends before you,
Men like Shane Matthews, Rex Grossman, and Wuerffel;
Ghosts echo in that stadium, you can't let them down,
We've owned the Dawgs since '90, Jacksonville is OUR town!"
And for the first time in years, Tebow took off his Cap;
It was orange, and read "CAPTAIN" in blue script on the back;
He handed it to Kyle, and told him: "It is time.
That someone else wore this hat, it is no longer mine."
With a tear in his eye, Tebow placed it on his head,
The cap fit well, "Thanks, Tim", Kyle said;
Tebow looked him in the eye, and said "Don't thank me.
Coach Mullen gave me that cap, now I give it to thee.
Listen to him, and you'll POUND the Dawgs too,
Take what the D gives you, and let the game come to you."
Tebow fired up the engine, as Trask grabbed the wheel,
Set the course due North, toward TIAA Bank Field;
I heard Tim exclaim, as they drove out of sight—
“Merry Cocktail Party to all, and to all a good night!”
Sweet dreams, everyone.....GO GATORS!!!
Twas the Night Before The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party
'Twas the night before The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party,
when all through the South,
Not a Southerner was stirring, not even Finebaum's mouth;
The beers were packed, in the cooler with care,
In hopes that SEC Nation soon would be near;
Gators fans were nestled all snug in their beds;
As visions of Percy Harvin danced in their heads;
While Coach Mullen 'n' The Ol' Ball Coach, lay awake in their visors,
Scheming up trick plays, Kirby Smart none the wiser.
When out on St. John's River, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my hotel bed, to see what twas the matter.
As I looked south down the River, I saw something massive and bright,
Picking up steam as it rode through the night,
A tonnage of steel, with cannons COLOSSAL and COMMANDING,
Plowing all in its path, heading straight for The Landing;
Lights of bright orange, with siding scales of blue,
I felt the earth shake, as it came into view;
When what to my bloodshot eyes did appear,
But a towering warship, no dawg safe to be near;
With a chiseled, mighty Captain, and the UF Cheerleaders in tow,
I knew in a moment, it was the USS TEBOW!
To rally the troops, hence why Tebow came,
He grabbed his megaphone, and called them by name:
"Now Shorter and Henderson! Now, Pierce! Now, Nay'Quan!
On, Gamble! On, Pitts! On, Copeland! On Grimes!
Direct snap to Toney, you bet it's comin!
REVERSE to Whittemore! This offense is hummin'!
You want to see defense? We’re the REAL D-B-U,
Marco will pick you, Elam will too;
Where's Stewart you ask? Aw, he's getting his kicks,
He's behind Bennett, running back a pick six!
Moon’s in the backfield, quick as a fox,
If he doesn't get you, you'll be POUNDED by COX!"
Tim cured them all of COVID, and got them on board,
Coach Mullen jumped on, and the ship's engine roared;
But Tebow looked around, and noticed someone was missing,
He stopped the boat, while everyone listened:
"Wait everyone, we've made this mistake before,
Can't forget our QB, there's NO ONE we NEED more!"
And there on the dock, stood Kyle Trask,
Focused and ready, up to the task;
Tebow threw him a lifesaver, and dragged him on ship,
He sat him down, and gave him this tip:
"Kyle, you got SIXTY MINUTES, for the REST of your LIFE,
To some, this game means more than their children or wife;
To understand the magnitude, you must understand the past,
The years of Gator heartbreak, we feared would always last;
Nightmares of Lindsay Scott, still burn in our heads,
And probably will, til the day we are dead;
But we turned the tables, helped by legends before you,
Men like Shane Matthews, Rex Grossman, and Wuerffel;
Ghosts echo in that stadium, you can't let them down,
We've owned the Dawgs since '90, Jacksonville is OUR town!"
And for the first time in years, Tebow took off his Cap;
It was orange, and read "CAPTAIN" in blue script on the back;
He handed it to Kyle, and told him: "It is time.
That someone else wore this hat, it is no longer mine."
With a tear in his eye, Tebow placed it on his head,
The cap fit well, "Thanks, Tim", Kyle said;
Tebow looked him in the eye, and said "Don't thank me.
Coach Mullen gave me that cap, now I give it to thee.
Listen to him, and you'll POUND the Dawgs too,
Take what the D gives you, and let the game come to you."
Tebow fired up the engine, as Trask grabbed the wheel,
Set the course due North, toward TIAA Bank Field;
I heard Tim exclaim, as they drove out of sight—
“Merry Cocktail Party to all, and to all a good night!”
Sweet dreams, everyone.....GO GATORS!!!
