Joe Alleva Hates Puppies

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Joe Alleva has the shirt below hanging in his closet...

 

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Joe Alleva insists that his kids refer to him as “El’ Capitan.”

 

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Joe Alleva is the Least Interesting Man in the World.

 

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Joe Alleva swims in rip tides.

 

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Joe Alleva eats kale chips.

 

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Joe Alleva is a flat Earther...and a flat Marser

 

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Joe Alleva cheered for the cops in Smokey and the Bandit.

 

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Joe Alleva thought Wedding Crashers was a how-to video and now trolls weddings to pick up girls.

 

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Joe Alleva has the shirt below hanging in his closet...

He tells the ladies that "Rusty Trombone" is a nickname for his package and thinks it's cool.

 

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Joe Alleva doesn't hold the door for a lady.

 

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In his retirement speech, Joe Alleva said that he will finally have time to work on preventing world peace, promoting world hunger and getting more kids to "Just Say Yes" to drugs.

 

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Joe Alleva poaches wild game.

 

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Due to his unhealthy infatuation with the group in the late 80’s, Joe Alleva needed therapy to accept the fact that Milli Vanilli did not sing their own music.

 

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Joe Alleva binge watches anything with the Kardashians.

 

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Joe Alleva named his boat the Titanic...it's a canoe.

 

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When Joe Alleva was a younger man, he named his waterbed the Titanic and would announce to his partners that they were about to “go down.”

 

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Joe Alleva binge watches anything with the Kardashians.

...but, of course, Joe Alleva really prefers Caitlyn.

 

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Joe Alleva hates tangy urinal mints.

 

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Joe Alleva puts black ashes in his pepper shaker instead of actual pepper

 

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Joe Alleva is poisonous to rattle snakes.

 

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Joe Alleva buys cookies from Roseanne Barr

 

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Joe Alleva eats roasted rabbit on Easter.

 

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Joe Alleva gets yeast infections.

 

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Joe Alleva has crabs in his teeth.

 

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Joe Alleva’s wife’s name is Jim.

 

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Joe Alleva’s couch is a love seat.

 

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Joe Alleva’s wife’s name is Jim.

Jim is an illegal alien.

 

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Joe Alleva is a serial jaywalker.

 

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Joe Alleva’s favorite coffee creamer flavor is hazelnut.

 

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Joe Alleva refers to his own rectum as the “fun spot.”

 

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Joe Alleva rolls his R’s.

 

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Joe Alleva rolls his R’s.

And tight rolls his jeans.

 

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Joe Alleva has a pierced naval.

 

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When asking LSU administration for program and project funding, Joe Alleva frequently utilizes his “baby talk.”

 

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The WNBA excites Joe Alleva.

 

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Joe Alleva thinks cattails are just corn dogs growing out of the swamp

 

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Joe Alleva refuses to remember the Alamo.

 

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Joe Alleva is a flat Earther...and a flat Marser

And his wife is a flat mooner.

 

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Joe Alleva refuses to remember the Alamo.

But celebrates the day the Nazis burned the Reichstag to frame the Communists

 

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Joe Alleva licks the dust off Doritos and puts the chip back in the bag.