AP New Hampshire.
In a shocking turn of events, incredibly popular coach Chip Kelly is said to be very close to passing on a traditional turkey and deciding to eat goose for Thanksgiving.
According to the website PoultryScoop.com, several sources close to Kelly say the coach has already decided to serve goose, but hasn’t announced it to his immediate family.
“I saw him in the frozen food aisle looking at turkeys.” said Publix part-time stock worker, Pixie Secnow. “He was mumbling about how undisciplined, slow, and predictable turkeys are. He commented that he really wanted wanted to serve a leaner, faster, and more agile bird. I saw him go into the meat department office to speak to the meat manager about ordering a goose.”
Publix meat department officials declined comment for this story. However, the son of the butcher, Chuck Delmonico, tweeted that he was confident that Kelly had purchased a traditional turkey. The tweet read, “Congratulations on your 20 pound butterball Coach Kelly.” Later, Delmonico issued a subsequent tweet reading, “My father has been cutting rib roasts all week.”
Bagger, Ira Pachem, said he was uncertain as to the type of bird Kelly purchased. “Look, he’s got the whole Oregon Duck thing in his past, right? I can’t tell you if it was a turkey or a goose, but I can tell you that he certainly has a fondness for fowl.”
At this point, it seems clear that we won’t know until at least 4 pm on Thursday at the earliest which bird has been served. No word on the kind of pie Kelly may select, but unnamed bakery department sources confirmed he was vetting several different types.
In a shocking turn of events, incredibly popular coach Chip Kelly is said to be very close to passing on a traditional turkey and deciding to eat goose for Thanksgiving.
According to the website PoultryScoop.com, several sources close to Kelly say the coach has already decided to serve goose, but hasn’t announced it to his immediate family.
“I saw him in the frozen food aisle looking at turkeys.” said Publix part-time stock worker, Pixie Secnow. “He was mumbling about how undisciplined, slow, and predictable turkeys are. He commented that he really wanted wanted to serve a leaner, faster, and more agile bird. I saw him go into the meat department office to speak to the meat manager about ordering a goose.”
Publix meat department officials declined comment for this story. However, the son of the butcher, Chuck Delmonico, tweeted that he was confident that Kelly had purchased a traditional turkey. The tweet read, “Congratulations on your 20 pound butterball Coach Kelly.” Later, Delmonico issued a subsequent tweet reading, “My father has been cutting rib roasts all week.”
Bagger, Ira Pachem, said he was uncertain as to the type of bird Kelly purchased. “Look, he’s got the whole Oregon Duck thing in his past, right? I can’t tell you if it was a turkey or a goose, but I can tell you that he certainly has a fondness for fowl.”
At this point, it seems clear that we won’t know until at least 4 pm on Thursday at the earliest which bird has been served. No word on the kind of pie Kelly may select, but unnamed bakery department sources confirmed he was vetting several different types.
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